Be kind to yourself as you eat, move and practice self-care

be kind to yourself when you eat, move and practice self-care.pdf

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A healthy relationship with food, exercise and self-care are quintessential to leading a healthy lifestyle. The challenge is knowing what really defines a healthy relationship with each and signs that signal a less than healthy relationship. My goal is to help explain what a healthy relationship looks like with food, exercise and self-care and then to provide tips for helping to improve each relationship. 

Food:

A healthy relationship with food is “having unconditional permission to eat the foods that make you feel good physically and mentally,” (Davidson, 2020, p.1). This does not have to do with “the quality of your diet or the types of food you eat,” but instead “how and why you choose the foods you eat,” (Davidson, 2020, p.1). Eating should be relaxing and enjoyable rather than stressful or distracting. Signs of a healthy relationship with food include: 

• Unconditional permission to eat foods you enjoy 

• Respecting natural hunger cues 

• Eating to satiation 

• No off-limit foods 

• No obsessing about calories and the number on the scale 

• Others opinions and preferences do not dictate what you consume 

• You believe that your diet does not define you 

An unhealthy relationship with food consists of “eating behaviors that are contributing to poor mental, physical or emotional health and well-being,”(The Intuitive Nutritionist, n.d., p.1). When you have an unhealthy relationship with food, you think about food all the time and feel guilty about eating “bad, junk or unhealthy,” foods. Signs of an unhealthy relationship with food include: 

• Guilt about eating 

• Avoiding/ restricting foods that are “bad”

• Many rules surrounding foods that can and can’t be eaten 

• Ignoring natural hunger cues 

• History of yo-yo dieting 

• Stress and anxiety in social situations surrounding eating

• Intense cravings 

• Eating past fullness often/ emotional eating 

• Punishment with exercise 

• Binge eating 

An unhealthy relationship with food is not uncommon and not something you should feel badly about. Many individuals, myself included, developed an unhealthy relationship with food after trying to navigate the misinformation of balanced nutrition. While an unhealthy relationship with food is overwhelming and can be challenging, it does not need to be permanent. There are certain steps that you can take to begin to improve your relationship with food (Galati, 2022): 

• Give yourself unconditional permission to eat

• Eat when hungry 

• Eat mindfully: “eating in the moment and being fully present for the eating experience,” (Davidson, 2020, p.3) 

• Curate your social media feed to encourage a healthy relationship with food aka unfollow any accounts that are triggering 

• Cut out dieting and learn to eat in a balanced way 

• Build fun foods into your daily routine 

Exercise: 

Exercise has numerous benefits and is something that we all know we should strive to include in our routine. Healthy exercise is “flexible and fulfilling,” (Doss, 2019, p.1). It consists of a variety of activities that vary depending on your season of life (Doss, 2019). Healthy exercise is joyful and allows you to feel challenged and express yourself. It also consists of listening to your body and resting when you need to. Some signs that your exercise routine is healthy include (Doss, 2019):

• You're flexible and move your body in many ways 

• It is joyful and brings news challenges

• It is moderate in intensity including rest 

• It is enriching in a social and/or personal way

• It comes from a place of self-love 

Unhealthy exercise “involves rules and rigidity,” and tends to be “shame-based and shame inducing,” (Doss, 2019, p.2). This kind of movement is not enjoyable, is excessive in intensity/ duration and comes from a place of low self-esteem (Doss, 2019). When you struggle with an unhealthy relationship with exercise, you “overestimate the consequences of missing a workout,” (Carter, 2022, p.1). You exercise even when you know it is bad for you which can lead to injuries as seen in a March 2020 study where obsessive recreational runners were more likely to sustain a running related injury than harmoniously passionate runners (Carter, 2022). Exercise addiction is when an individual “feels unable to stop, or not in control of how much they exercise,” (Mind. n.d., p.2). According to Mind (n.d.), this is not uncommon with 1 in 6 individuals stating that they exercise when injured/ unwell and 2 in 5 stating they feel guilty when missing an exercise session. Signs of an unhealthy relationship with exercise  include: 

• Rigid rules about movement 

• Feelings of obligation to move 

• Un-enjoyable and soul-sucking movement

• Excessive in duration and/or intensity

• It is isolating and impacts work or relationships 

• Motivation comes from a place of low self-worth 

Just like with food, an unhealthy relationship with exercise is not uncommon. Many, myself included, develop this unhealthy relationship when trying to develop an exercise routine and care for themselves properly. Tips to improve your relationship with exercise include: 

• Taking rest days 

• Switching up your routine (including low impact movement)

• Connecting with others and trying new hobbies 

• Be kind to yourself 

• Be mindful about your routine aiming for a good mix of activity throughout the week

• Take a break from exercise 

Self Care:

Self-care has become a buzzword but what truly qualifies as self-care and when can self-care be damaging? True self-care “consists of actions that promote your physical, mental, emotional, and financial health both now and in the future,” (Selig, 2023, p.1). This kind of self-care can “help you reconnect with the authentic, genuine you” (Selig, 2023, p.1). True self-care brings a sense of peace because you are taking good care of yourself holistically. It consists of finding ways to have fun that are not immediate stress-relieving pleasures that you may regret in the long run (Selig, 2023). Examples include: 

• A regular exercise program that leaves you feeling invigorated and energetic 

• Healthy eating 

• Meditation/ relaxing

• Finding a new hobby 

• Saving money each month 

False self-care “gives you a short-term escape from life’s stresses and problems but, in the long run, piles even more stress on top of the original problem,” (Selig, 2023, p.3). It can consist of bad habits or excessive pampering that damage your wellness or leave you feeling guilty, worried or anxious (Selig, 2023).  It could also consist of avoiding things that you need to do and buying things you can not afford to buy (Selig, 2023). Examples include: 

• Incessant social media scrolling 

• Binging on unhealthy food 

• Finding excuses to avoid exercise

• Incessant online shopping  

There are some mistakes that individuals make when trying to include self-care in their routine. Avoiding these mistakes can help transform a false self-care routine into a true self-care routine (Morin, 2023). 

• Mistake: Being reactive and instead of proactive

• Solution: Schedule ahead and block off time for hobbies and alone time

• Mistake: Thinking self-care is always supposed to feel good 

• Solution: Embracing the thought that self-care is about doing things that are good for your health in the long-run

• Mistake: Adopting a one-size-fits-all approach 

• Solution: Do not rely on boxed self-care programs and instead experiment to find what fills your cup. 

• Mistake: Using self-care as an excuse to self-sabotage 

• Solution: Re-frame self-care to that which helps your health overall instead of giving into quick temptations because you feel you have worked hard and deserve it. 

Conclusion: Diet, exercise and self-care are cornerstones of the wellness industry. While a healthy relationship with each can promote lifelong wellness, it is easy to go to the extremes and develop an unhealthy or warped view. For diet and exercise, the best approach is taking a flexible, holistic view that includes nutritious foods as well as treats and bouts of fun and functional exercise as well as rest. For self-care, it is best to proactively plan health-promoting and relaxing activities that fill your cup. Overall, be kind to yourself when you eat, move and practice self-care. 

References 

Carter, K. (2022). 6 signs of an unhealthy relationship with exercise. Livestrong.com https://www.livestrong.com/article/13720115-6-signs-of-an-unhealthy-relationship-with-exercise/

Davidson, K. (2020). How can I improve my relationship with food? Healthline. 

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fixing-a-bad-relationship-with-food#:~:text=The%20goal%20of%20a%20good,kindness%20toward%20yourself%20is%20paramount.&text=A%20bad%20relationship%20with%20food%20usually%20involves%20restricting%20or%20overeating,guilt%20upon%20eating%20certain%20foods.

Doss, K. (2019). Healthy vs. unhealthy exercise. Empowered Counseling for Mindful Living. https://www.empowered-counseling.com/blog/2019/5/21/healthy-vs-unhealthy-exercise#:~:text=Over%20time%2C%20some%20themes%20have,over%20long%20periods%20of%20time.

Galati, M. (2022). 6 signs you have an unhealthy relationship with food (and how to change it). Real Life Nutritionist. https://reallifenutritionist.com/unhealthy-relationship-with-food/

Mind (n.d.). What to do when your relationship with physical activity is becoming unhealthy. Mind. https://www.mind.org.uk/media/11962/what-to-do-when-your-relationship-with-physical-activity-becomes-unhealthy-public.pdf

Morin, A. (2023). 5 self-care mistakes that leave you emotionally exhausted. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-your-self-care-routine-isnt-working-7368113

Selig, M. (2023). Self-care: All things to all people? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/202308/self-care-all-things-to-all-people

The Intuitive Nutritionist (n.d.). 13 signs you have an unhealthy relationship with food. The Intuitive Nutritionist. https://theintuitivenutritionist.com/signs-you-have-an-unhealthy-relationship-with-food/