Fear of Failure: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy or a Strength to Leverage?

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Have you ever had an awesome idea that you poked holes in before you even had a chance to work out the details? What new opportunity has called to you that you left unanswered out of fear of coming up short? When have you known that you were capable of more but you settled because you did not believe in your own abilities? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, you are not alone. Most of us fear failure and the possibility of failing makes us really uncomfortable.

Fear of failure according to Tsaousides (2017) is the “emotional, cognitive and behavioral reaction to the negative consequences you anticipate for failing to achieve a goal,” (p.1). It includes worry, negative thinking and reluctance to act (Tsaousides, 2017). According to Chong & Chong (2022), 30% of the population of the United States is terrified of failure. When surveyed, 41% of adults in the United States cite fear of failure as the reason that they have not started their own business (Chong & Chong, 2022). Atychiphobia is the word used to describe this intense fear of failure with the Greek root “atyches” meaning unfortunate (Chong & Chong, 2022).

There are a variety of signs that that an individual is suffering from a fear of failure. Some emotional and behavioral signs include persistent anxiety, avoidance, feeling a loss of control, hopelessness and powerlessness (Cherry, 2023). There are also physical signs including a “rapid heart rate, chest tightness, trembling, dizziness, lightheadedness, sweating and digestive problems,” (Cherry, 2023, p. 2). Some other signs include persistent self-doubt, fear of disappointing others and negative self-evaluation when speaking about oneself with others (Cherry, 2023).

There are a variety of potential causes, many of which are interrelated. First, individuals who grew up in a “highly critical or unsupportive,” household are more likely to experience fear of failure (Cherry, 2023, p.3). Second, individuals who are genetically predisposed to anxiety are more likely to experience fear of failure (Cherry, 2023). Third, perfectionists with extremely high performance and achievement standards are more likely to experience fear of failure (Cherry, 2023). Fourth, individuals who have had a traumatic experience related to their performance or those who suffer from unresolved trauma are more likely to experience fear of failure (Tsaousides, 2017).

There are a variety of potential negative impacts that come from a fear of failure. First, a constant and incessant fear of failure can lead to emotional challenges such as anxiety, depression, shame, panic attacks and low self-esteem (Cleveland Clinic, 2022).As described above, all of these emotional challenges can also feed this fear which can create a positive feedback loop. Individuals with this fear also may experience fatigue, low energy and dissatisfaction with their lives (Tsaousides, 2017). Second, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy leading to poor performance (Cleveland Clinics, 2022). This can be due to self-sabotage which leaves people ill-prepared or due to the variety of negative emotions that come from this fear as previously described. Third, it can lead to a lack of motivation in starting or working towards goals (Cleveland Clinics, 2022). This then can lead to procrastination and poor performance which only reinforces this fear of failure. Fourth, it can lead to an inability to maintain relationships out of fear of not meeting the others needs and due to an “unwillingness to accept constructive criticism or help,” (Cleveland Clinic, 2022, p.3).

Like with so many other challenges, a fear of failure is not fixed and does not need to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Some psychologists are beginning to believe that, when leveraged and tempered, this fear can provide the “drive to push and persist in the face of challenge,” and “help unleash dormant creativity and innovativeness,” (Chong & Chong, 2022, p.4). How then can we leverage and temper this fear of failure?

What You Can Do Now:

1. Access what the real fear is: Fear of failure can come

   from a fear of embarrassing oneself, a fear of being unsuccessful/ unworthy, a fear of an uncertain future, a fear of letting others down, or a fear of losing progress that has already been made. Understanding what exactly you are fearful of allows you to manage this fear explicitly.

2. Consider the worst case-scenario: think of the worst possible outcome and come up with a plan to deal with it.Then think of the best case-scenario and decide if it is worth trying.

3. Focus on what is within your control: instead of worrying about all the possible things that can go wrong, manage all of the pieces that are within your control.

4. Redefine failure: remember that “success is often reached through a series of progressive failures that lead to new information, skills and strategies,” (Cherry, 2023, p.4).

5. Foster support: let your loved ones know that you are struggling with this fear so that they can provide support and can serve as the voice of reason when fears become overwhelming.

6. Avoid caffeine & alcohol: avoid or limit any stimulants as these can worsen existing anxiety. Avoid alcohol consumption because although it might help provide confidence initially, it will only make fear worse in the long-term.

7. Build a healthy lifestyle: stay active, eat a balanced diet and get plenty of sleep to cope with negative mental health implications of a fear of failure.

   
   

What to Do If Fear Persists:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: working with a cognitive behavioral therapist can help reframe previous “failures” as positive opportunities for learning and growth and provide coping strategies.

2. Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction: learning coping strategies such as breathwork and meditation can help individuals learn to cope with the physical symptoms that come along with fear of failure.

3. Exposure Therapy: this consists of gradually exposing yourself to situations where you fear failure. It can be helpful to start small, work with a therapist and perform this in a safe and supportive environment.

I, like so many others, struggle with a fear of failure. At many junctures of my life I have allowed this fear to hinder my progress and to deter me from working towards lofty goals. One intense and recent example was the fear of starting my own holistic women’s wellness business. I will use this example to illustrate how to utilize the tips described above:

1. I accessed that my real fear was a fear of not being successful and being unworthy of creating this kind of business. I then considered, am I really unworthy? Have I not spent years acquiring knowledge in the health and wellness field? Have I not worked with clients from a variety of backgrounds and with a variety of needs and helped them to create a healthy lifestyle? The only part of the business I am still uncertain about then is my ability to sell myself. While this is a real fear, it is much more manageable than seeing myself as wholly unworthy.

2. I then considered the worst case-scenario which is that I never have any clients and do not recover my initial investment. Even in this worst case-scenario, the time spent compiling resources and creating the program could then be used to help women in a non-profit setting. I might never re-coop my upfront investment but I have learned so many skills in the process which are priceless.

3. Next, I focused on what was in control, which was all the nuts and bolts of creating the business including filing for an LLC, getting liability insurance, creating the program, making the website and marketing.

4. I then realized that even if this particular business does not work out as I had planned, I have the opportunity to learn from my mistakes and pivot as needed.

5. I have spoken with my loved ones about my fear of not being successful so that they can temper my fears and provide support when I am overwhelmed.

6. Finally, I have created a healthy lifestyle as the backdrop for all that I do to ensure that I bolster my health and am never pouring from an empty cup.

What would you do if fear was not holding you back?

References

Cherry, K. (2023). How to deal with the fear of failure. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-failure-517620 2

Chong, A. & Chong, M. (2022). Feeling the heat? Fear of failure and performance. CSLF Working Papers, 52.https://scholarworks.gsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1051&c ontext=ays_cslf_workingpapers#:~:text=1%20Interestingly%2C%20fe ar%20of%20failure,population%20endure%20in%20this%20country.

Cleveland Clinic (2022). Atychiphobia (fear of failure). Cleveland Clinic.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphob ia-fear-of-failure

Tsaousides, T. (2017). Why fear of failure can keep you stuck. PsychologyToday.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblock s/201712/why-fear-failure-can-keep-you-stuck